Letter to Microsoft
"I am a furiously adept Multitasker with years
of experience in diversification and tackling a variety of workable items...."
Ever wondered what Microsoft looks for in a self-starting, Can-Do-type employee? Well, a friend of
mine figures he's got it nailed. He sent this hilarious letter (in the tradition of
Lazlo Toth, for those of you who are familiar with Don Novello's other famous
alter-ego), addressed simply to "Someone Important"
at Microsoft. Note in particular his excellent (over-)use of terms from The Microsoft Lexicon...
Excerpt: "I want to participate in
transforming the Internet into the Interestingnet. To say the least, my technical
computer skills are MicroHard. Overall, my ability to Achieve will surpass your
The Real Microsoft
These four essential texts
are guaranteed to enlighten you
Everything you think you know about
Microsoft is wrong.
It's all PR. Inside, it's another story. Click
above to find out more. And don't miss the cover story in the September, 1998,
issue of Brill's Content.
grown ups here at the company go gliding in and out all day long, scaring each other at
our desks and cubicles and water coolers and trying to evade the people who frighten us.
We come to work, have lunch, and go home. We goose-step in and goose-step
out, change our partners and wander all about, sashay around for a pat on the head, and
promenade home till we all drop dead."
-- Joseph Heller, Something
The only complete insider's guide to understanding that insidious language known as
Microspeak. Compiled and edited by Ken Barnes
O! Water Feature!
A Microsoftian ode to the glories of chlorinated landscape architecture, as featured on
the Redmond West campus.
letter from the man who designed it!
Intersting factoid: You're about as likely to see
George Clinton on a Microsoft campus as you are to see any other African-American.