"I am a furiously adept Multitasker with years
of experience in diversification and tackling a variety of workable items...."

Ever wondered what Microsoft looks for in a self-starting, Can-Do-type employee?  Well, a friend of mine figures he's got it nailed.  He sent this hilarious letter (in the tradition of Lazlo Toth, for those of you who are familiar with Don Novello's other famous alter-ego), addressed simply to "Someone Important" at Microsoft.  Note in particular his excellent (over-)use of terms from The Microsoft Lexicon...

Excerpt: "I want to participate in transforming the Internet into the Interestingnet.  To say the least, my technical computer skills are MicroHard.  Overall, my ability to Achieve will surpass your expectations...."

Understanding
The Real Microsoft
These four essential texts
are guaranteed to enlighten you

Everything you think you know about Microsoft is wrong. 
It's all PR.  Inside, it's another story.  Click above to find out more.  And don't miss the cover story in the September, 1998, issue of Brill's Content.

"...[W]e wise grown ups here at the company go gliding in and out all day long, scaring each other at our desks and cubicles and water coolers and trying to evade the people who frighten us.   We come to work, have lunch, and go home.  We goose-step in and goose-step out, change our partners and wander all about, sashay around for a pat on the head, and promenade home till we all drop dead."

-- Joseph Heller, Something Happened (1974)