July 15, 1998

Someone Important
Microsoft Corporation
One Microsoft Way
Redmond, WA  98052 

Dear Microsoft Hiring Executive,

Let's slash and burn the prancing and dancing and cut right to the action
item on the table.  I'm ready to roll up my sleeves and put my can-do
attitude to use, moving forward with the Microsoft Team (MT) to get
closure on the Soft's conversion from Corporation to Winner.  If you
book me as an asset to the MT, my Hands On/No Fuss philosophy will
help throw MT problems over the fence.  Often cited and criticized as a
"Motivationalist", by my less-than-can-do coworkers, I take pride in my
ability to stay busified even in times of what the motivationally disabled
refer to as "down time".  In my book, the only thing "down" is their
attitudes.  Don't get me wrong, I'm a team player.  Sometimes I'm the
teamest player there is.  However, when the ball is in my court I take it
and run with it.  Deadbeats be damned.  If my teammates aren't willing to
run with me, its time to outsource or downsize them to a more deserving
task, like emptying the circular files.  I believe that the deserving employee
is the serving employee.

I am self conscious about "selling myself" to corporations, because by
nature I am a modest person.  However, I can safely say that my skills far
exceed the requirements for any position in Redmond.  With a lifetime of
Personnel skills under my belt, I'm a hypertextual interface between
worker and management, between pigeon and fox.  My employers,
colleagues, and childhood friends will attest to my tenacious "go getter"
attitude when it comes to climbing, shining, or moving people out of the
way on the corporate ladder.  I am a furiously adept Multitasker with years
of experience in diversification and tackling a variety of workable items.  I
have a long history with computers and can relate to the laid back feel of
the programs that the MS team develops.  I want to participate in
transforming the Internet into the Interestingnet.  To say the least, my
technical computer skills are MicroHard.  Overall, my ability to Achieve
will surpass your expectations.

Despite my aggressive and sometimes obsessive approach to employment, I
like to kick back and enjoy time off, almost as much as I relish hard work. 
I love to Farfenugen myself out of the rat-race each weekend with the
Yakima racks loaded and a stoked feeling in me that only the anticipation
of X-treme sports can bring.  Whenever I'm not rock climbing, kayaking,
snowboarding, mountain biking, white-water rafting, roller blading, bungie
jumping, or training for marathons I like to attend wilderness survival
camps, men's drum groups, swing-dance competitions, and Jazz shows at
coffee shops.  At home I enjoy brewing fine microbrews, watching
independent films, and practicing the guitar with my band The
RetroRockets.  Currently the RetroRockets are negotiating with a major
record label and video producer, further attesting to my ability to succeed
in and out of the workplace.

Without lowering myself to obloquies about the modern American work ethic,
I must say that right now things in corporate America stink.  Its time to
sacrifice the passing-fad individualistic attitude of the past and move
forward into a bright new future of corporate leadership.  Take me on
board and see the true potential of a diligent can-do employee with the
know-how to succeed.

Sincerely,





enclosures: no enclosed resume, my attitude speaks for itself